Today marked a nationwide nurse-in at national retailer Target.. an effort driven by a nursing mother being asked to use the dressing room at a Houston, TX Target and then being made to feel humiliated by the store employees after declining. This nurse-in has ellicted an enormous amount of debate from both sides of the discussion.
Myself, living in Washington state, the right to nurse in public is sanctioned by state law. The law deems that any place that a woman is allowed, she has the legal right to nurse there as well. Having nursed four children I can personally attest to having nursed in malls, restaurants, parks, coffee shops, churches, airports, to name a few. My nursing experience has spanned over thirteen years and I have been incredibly fortunate to never have been on the receiving end of a negative comment.
Shouldn't nursing mothers cover up? Opponents claim that nursing is "ok" only when done in private or when a mother is covered. One point is "why should they have to?". State law does not include this provision and many nursing babies will not tolerate having their heads covered. If we apply this same logic, that a show of breasts is indecent, why then can my children see billboards for Victoria Secret's models with more of their breasts showing in small lingerie than most nursing moms show? Why is it then Ok and acceptable for ads such as these to be marketed in general public areas, but not socially acceptable for a fraction of skin to be seen on a nursing mother?
You can breastfeed in the bathroom/car. Would you like to eat your lunch in a public restroom? I know I wouldn't. I try to avoid them whenever possible as they tend to be fairly gross. Should my child have to eat that way? No, of course not. I prefer not to have my meal next to someone who is voiding their bowels or changing their tampon. Dressing rooms can be a great option... for myself, if I happened to be out with any other children, this option was not reasonable. Could you picture me in small dressing room, baby on the breast with three other children crowded into there as well? Pretty laughable.
How about the car? Not everyone owns a car or sometimes weather conditions make car nursing unfavorable (too hot/too cold). It's not feasible to leave a car running for 30 minutes with the A/C or heater running when one could be inside instead.
Feed your baby before you leave home. Good try on that one. Many Moms *do* feed their babies before leaving the house. Does that mean that said baby isn't going through a growth spurt and needing to nurse more often? Does that mean he or she may not get hungry before the trip is over? Babies, when hungry, need to eat. They do not understand waiting and their needs deserve to be met. It's fairly simple. I get hungry sometimes while out running errands... and you know what? I grab a snack.
Don't leave home. In who's reality is this in?? This isn't the 1950's and I have no desire to be cooped up. Sometimes I have errands to run that cannot wait.. prescriptions to be picked up, groceries, doctors appointments, so on and so forth. Sometimes, like anyone else, I like to get out of the house "just because". It's healthy and can be refreshing. Life happens and continues, babies are part of life.. eating is part of life.. one can then assess that babies eating are part of life. You get the picture.
Bring a bottle/pump milk to bring with you. I know some mothers who weren't comfortable with public nursing and this was a great option for them. Other Moms, like myself, are another story. My children would not take a bottle. Ever. At all. Not to mention, had they been willing, if we had to be out for an extended period of time and I provided a bottle in lieu of nursing, I would have experienced pain and engorgement from the missed nursing session. Especially in the beginning, when supply is being established, this could be detrimental to some mother's milk supply. With my first baby, this would have resulted in a blouse soaked in breastmilk (yes, even with wearing nursing pads). Which is more embarassing?? Nursing or me participating in a "wet t-shirt contest"?? Or how about my nursing in a public area versus not and subsequently developing mastitis, becoming incredibly ill and not being able to adequately care for my children while I recover from the world's worst "flu"? I personally will elect for the former and risk offending someone as a result of concern for my health, as well as my child's.
Women who nurse in public are selfish/only want attention/are disrespectful of others. In short, get over yourselves. When Moms nurse their babies, in public or elsewhere, they are doing it for the benefit of their bub. In an ideal society, nursing would be so normal that no one would even bat an eye at seeing a nursing mom and baby. The last thing most women want is to draw attention to themselves... regardless of this, they also recognize the needs of their child to eat supercede this and that attention may be drawn in some way. I was always Ok with this. My child comes first...his/her needs and physiological needs are more important than the potential of unwanted attention or the fact another may be uncomfortable about my child's method of eating. I may be uncomfortable with seeing 300 lb men with their shirts off at the lake, but hey- I just don't chose to look. Whatever.
There are many, many more arguments that have been put out there, but that's the sum of it.. put simply, however, is that regardless of one's opinion on whether or not women *should* nurse in public or *how* they should do it or an opinion on what an acceptable arbitrary age may or may not be, the fact of the matter is that the LEGAL right to is protected by state law in many states, such as Washington and Texas. That simple point is not up for debate and opinions on the should's and should not's are moot in these cases.
How about this? In a nation where diabetes and obesity are astronomically on the rise, especially in our young children, why wouldn't we want to support Moms out there who work to give their children what's both nutrionally normal and best? Kudos to every Mom out there who does this... and to those who continue to fight for the rights of other mothers and children.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Seven years ago, we were expecting our third baby. His estimated "guess" date was December 26th, however having had babes #1 and #2 at 38 weeks, I was sure he'd come well before that. Staying true to the old tale that third babies are the wild card, he decided to stay put.. content to stay nestled in mama's body.
December 23rd brought many contractions... up to four minutes apart, without intensifying. I grew tired and frustrated. Christmas evening, following a wonderful family dinner, I stayed up trying to encourage some contractions by doing some pressure points. I would get some feeble ones that would peter out as soon as I stopped. I went to bed frustrated and moody.
Forty-five minutes later or so, a contraction woke me up slightly.. just enough I needed to breathe through it. My husband was still awake and commented that it must have been good to have woken me up. They continued to come sporadically and would change depending on the position I was in. Lying on my side, they were too intense and uncomfortable. Sitting didn't feel good and standing was better... if I sat on the toilet, they would never stop coming. I called my midwife at 5am who encouraged me to go back to sleep, sounding skeptical that it was "it" based upon the irregular pattern. My daughter, 6 at the time, woke up and helped me to take a bath and change clothes. At 6am I woke the household..if we weren't going NOW, we weren't going at ALL.
Walking out just to the car was a challenge and everytime a wave would come I would have to hold onto someone.. in the car, a mere ten minute drive from the freestanding birth center, I had a contraction that peaked three times. I recall yelling at my husband to slow down to which he replied that he couldn't as he was already going 25 mph in a 35 zone.
My midwife was there when we arrived, the birth center warm and cozy and the tub was being filled. The room was dimly lit was small candles, bathing the room in a soft, inviting light. I remember sinking into the bliss of the warm water, melting into it... it felt amazing. A large pressure was growing in my back, however, and it was hard to get comfortable. Before I knew it, my body was pushing down on it's own.. "Wait! I'm not ready" and began tensing my bottom... knowing that was counter-productive, I began to blow through loose lips like a camel, making it difficult to fight the urge. I began to listen to my body and push down.. "Is he posterior?" I asked, wondering if the back of his head was against my back, thus causing all the back pressure. I was told, no- they didn't think so as I continued to work.. within minutes the top of his head was visible along with the announcement that yes, he was definitely posterior (mamas know, I tell you!). Born up to his ears, I reached down and could feel his left ear.. it was so surreal- this was my baby!
Resting between contractions, he started to "bounce" as if trying to speed things up and work to get himself out. A big strong push, hands reaching down, and my little baby boy was in my awaiting hands, brought up onto my chest. My sweet, new boy didn't cry... his lower lip pouted out, as if in protest, and started to quiver. It was a peaceful, amazing birth.
Two hours later we were home, nestled into bed..content and undisturbed, just as it should be.
Happy Birthday, sweet Jaiden.
December 23rd brought many contractions... up to four minutes apart, without intensifying. I grew tired and frustrated. Christmas evening, following a wonderful family dinner, I stayed up trying to encourage some contractions by doing some pressure points. I would get some feeble ones that would peter out as soon as I stopped. I went to bed frustrated and moody.
Forty-five minutes later or so, a contraction woke me up slightly.. just enough I needed to breathe through it. My husband was still awake and commented that it must have been good to have woken me up. They continued to come sporadically and would change depending on the position I was in. Lying on my side, they were too intense and uncomfortable. Sitting didn't feel good and standing was better... if I sat on the toilet, they would never stop coming. I called my midwife at 5am who encouraged me to go back to sleep, sounding skeptical that it was "it" based upon the irregular pattern. My daughter, 6 at the time, woke up and helped me to take a bath and change clothes. At 6am I woke the household..if we weren't going NOW, we weren't going at ALL.
Walking out just to the car was a challenge and everytime a wave would come I would have to hold onto someone.. in the car, a mere ten minute drive from the freestanding birth center, I had a contraction that peaked three times. I recall yelling at my husband to slow down to which he replied that he couldn't as he was already going 25 mph in a 35 zone.
My midwife was there when we arrived, the birth center warm and cozy and the tub was being filled. The room was dimly lit was small candles, bathing the room in a soft, inviting light. I remember sinking into the bliss of the warm water, melting into it... it felt amazing. A large pressure was growing in my back, however, and it was hard to get comfortable. Before I knew it, my body was pushing down on it's own.. "Wait! I'm not ready" and began tensing my bottom... knowing that was counter-productive, I began to blow through loose lips like a camel, making it difficult to fight the urge. I began to listen to my body and push down.. "Is he posterior?" I asked, wondering if the back of his head was against my back, thus causing all the back pressure. I was told, no- they didn't think so as I continued to work.. within minutes the top of his head was visible along with the announcement that yes, he was definitely posterior (mamas know, I tell you!). Born up to his ears, I reached down and could feel his left ear.. it was so surreal- this was my baby!
Resting between contractions, he started to "bounce" as if trying to speed things up and work to get himself out. A big strong push, hands reaching down, and my little baby boy was in my awaiting hands, brought up onto my chest. My sweet, new boy didn't cry... his lower lip pouted out, as if in protest, and started to quiver. It was a peaceful, amazing birth.
Two hours later we were home, nestled into bed..content and undisturbed, just as it should be.
Happy Birthday, sweet Jaiden.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Busy bee!
This past month has felt a little on the hectic side. At the end of October I began the last class needed as a pre-req for midwifery school- a course I had happened to take years and years ago that had been disrupted by an illness. My resulting C in the class wasn't adequate so I had to take it once again. Thinking it would merely be review was an understatement and the need to "review" an entire textbook on Anatomy and Physiology, learn it all, take two midterms and a final, all via a distance course in the span of a short time, was a little overwhelming. Wait, I lie- it was utterly stressful.
A little more than a week into November saw a beautiful birth followed by a trip to Portland that next week- an important trip! My interview for midwifery school. I would like to say that it went well, but it's so hard to tell. What makes it even harder was that the following day, at a meet and greet, I met other women who were applying and I must say that the competition is harsh!
I have had my regular school classes going on, as well, in addition to kids and work. Needless to say, I am happy November is over and we are well into December! This past week I finished A&P and have ordered my transcripts (they have to be received by 12/31), finishing the class with a B+. Not too shabby considering I did it in about five weeks! Now it's a waiting game until sometime next month, to find out how much they like me...
In the meantime, I have an article coming out in March in the spring Midwifery Today issue. It's about my thirteen year breastfeeding journey... I am incredibly excited. I also am available for births from now through March... I can see nothing better than starting the new year with welcoming some new lives into this world and hopefully receiving news that I will be able to begin my path into midwifery later that year!
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Welcome, baby W!
Ahhhh... there aren't many things better than seeing a new, beaming family and getting to hold a sweet, newborn baby, fresh out of the package!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Birthin' Babies
Driving home tonight the moon was big and full breaking through the one clear part of the sky.. so golden that it looked like an egg yolk sitting in sea of whispers of clouds.. quite a beautiful display considering our cloudy Pac Northwest skies that one gets accustomed to. Sometimes it's hard to remember that there are clear moons and skies full of stars out there.
More women are said to go into labor on full moons... today also is 11/11/11 which is estimated to be a big day for babies being born due to planned inductions (don't get me started on that one..). I, however, had the honor just a few nights ago to attend a beautiful, spontaneous, out-of-hospital birth... it's births like that that manage to take my breath away. Mama working to birth her baby out of her own power and strength... surrounded by those who love, respect and care for her. No one demanding anything, or yelling at her..no one threatening her with procedures or arbitary time frames....baby never leaving mama or a set of arms that love him/her. Just respect and reverance for her body and it's ability to know how best to birth her baby. That's how it is truly meant to be.
I was just thinking, on my drive home looking at the pregnant moon, about the first birth I ever attended. I was four years post-doula training (never imagining that I'd actually doula when I took the class). I had a good knowledge base about pregnancy and birth, but felt useless at the birth. In retrospect, I worked hard.. I was sore for a few days afterwards, having been contorted between a tub and a dresser to support Mom. Never the less, it reminded me of how critical one can be of themselves... I always wonder "did I do a good enough job?", "is there something I could have done better/different?", "did I add value as the doula or did I just feel like an extraneous person?". It seems like these questions are always easy to answer when I provide a very active, physical role in the birth (doing massage, counterpressure, rebozo work, holding Mom, etc) as opposed to when Mom just needs someone to hold the space, assure her all is normal, give encouragement and supportive words and offer gentle suggestions.
Sometimes, however, that's all that birthing women need... and they will forever remember that kind, encouraging words were spoken to them in their most vulnerable moment. One thing I will always remember is while pushing my youngest son out, my midwife saying "You know how to do this" almost in a whisper. She was right.. I did and those words echoed through my brain, giving me the encouragement I needed. It was nothing to her... just a small phrase, but something I will always remember~ someone believed in me, believed in my body and trusted in my ability to trust myself. Things like that are invaluable... and hoping in some small way I can do the same for other women as they birth their babies.
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