Who does birth belong to?

I have been pondering this question as of late, for several reasons. All too often in the birthing community I have heard birth workers, whether it be midwives, doulas, physicians, whomever, refer to the birthing women with a sense of ownership. When birth workers begin to use phrases when speaking of the birthing women they serve and the word "my" enters into the conversation (MY client, MY first/tenth/one hundredth birth, etc), a shift occurs. Birth is no longer quite belonging to that woman and her baby, rather that practitioner is assuming a piece of ownership.

Why should this be a problem? The birthing community wants women to take back their pregnancies, births and babies into their own hands. In order for this to happen, full ownership and responsibility needs to be given to these women. Without this, we will continue to hear the same dis-empowered phrases: "My doctor won't let me....", "My midwife made me...", "I can't...". Choices will continued to be made out of fear, rather than from a place of knowledge and empowerment. I believe this slippery slope, of birth being owned not by the mother, is what has led our society down the road of an over thirty percent cesarean section rate, the induction epidemic and rising maternity costs.

The United States continues to see abysmal maternal and infant mortality rates, despite our high health care costs and sophisticated technology. Fear of litigation rules many ways that practitioners chose to care for birthing women, rather than using evidence-based care. Women are scared into inductions with horror stories about how they are putting their babies at risk by continuing their uneventful, low-risk pregnancy. Failed inductions, a result of one's body and/or baby not being ready to birth, force healthy women into major surgery to birth their babies, resulting in a feeling of failure or as if their body is somehow "broken". Who owns these scare tactics? Certainly not birthing women.

What would our world look like if, in return, women were provided autonomy of choice? If homebirth was not something out of reach for many women due to state laws or lack of insurance coverage? What would it look like if birth workers said "what do YOU think?" or "How do YOU feel about x,y, z?" rather than forcing their own views? What kind of society could we build if women were treated with love, respect and reverence through the process of building their families? Might we see, in return, that same reverence relayed back onto the child that they birth, contributing to a kinder, gentler world?

It starts right here. Any woman I serve (birth work is an act of servitude) does not belong to me; her birth is not mine to claim or own. I am hers to support in any decision, regardless of the choice she makes and whether or not what she decides would have been my own choice or not. In doing so, her birth remains her own; something she does in her own power and is responsible for. An act she will never forget and can feel a sense of pride and honor over.

Change begins with all us. Who does birth belong to? It belongs to women.